damnfooltalk | November Wordcount Tracking (Reply)

Grumble grumble fuck year end tax season bullshit grr arg

Total November Wordcount: 5470 words

Posted: Nix

IN PROGRESS:

Founders Era fixit: 4712ish words (bluh, editing)
Superhero AU: 758 words

Sneak Peek:

> Founders Era fixit <

"I can get up, Aniki, I'm fine." In the face of Madara's skeptical expression, Izuna rounded on Haruka. "Tell him I'm fine!" he demanded.

Haruka didn't look up from what she was doing, but probably had line of sight on most of the room's inhabitants in her peripheral vision, at least. Her tone was mild as she answered, "Ordinarily I would take a patient having the energy to be combative as a sign that they were recovering well, but you were still arguing with me when you were bleeding out, so that doesn't seem to be a reasonable conclusion."

Izuna gritted his teeth. "What is that supposed to mean?"

Haruka did look up at that point, her expression bland. "It means that the body when under great strain only maintains the most necessary functions, and contrariness seems to be one of yours."

Silence fell at her words, and Madara let it stretch as the attendant healers and [Guard] sat like statues waiting to see how he would take her daring. Once Izuna's expression shifted from mildly stunned to glaring at him for not having already cut her off at the knees for her temerity, Madara allowed himself to crack a faint smile and gave voice to a quiet, "Oh?"

Tension drained out of the room as everyone else took their cue from him, and he caught the ghost of a grin flick across [Guard's] face at their cousin being so deftly burned to the ground mid-tantrum. The healers retained a certain amount of stiffness around their shoulders that Madara read as unwillingness to be amused at an outsider verbally outmaneuvering their clan heir, but neither of them voiced disagreement with her assessment, either. Good enough.

> Superhero AU <

Ebisu's face was beginning to shine at the temples with sweat, and Homeowner was clutching her laptop to her chest like she expected Jiraiya was going to swoop in and try to snatch it from her. "Ah, I see you have been fooled by his cover!" Ebisu exclaimed, valiantly attempting to pretend at perfect composure. "Jiraiya-sama is well aware that he cuts a rather intimidating figure, you see, and to make himself seem less imposing will frequently make use of a persona that appears to be nothing more than an older man inclined to drink and with a keen eye for female beauty, you see, which inspires far less reticence in bystanders. It is a respected technique in spycraft, you see, to hide in plain sight, and-"

"And whether he is actually unable to find porn that isn't loaded with viruses to download or is just filling my computer with malware for verisimilitude, I still end this scenario with a computer full of viruses and a search history full of things I do not need to know about your esteemed spymaster's tastes. My answer is no."

Homeowner seemed to have struck Ebisu speechless, and used the moment of gaping silence to retreat to her bedroom and close the door amid scattered ANBU snickering.

"Ah, Ebisu, your eloquence is wasted, my friend, but that was a most youthful display in the defense of the Toad Sage's trustworthiness with our esteemed host's computing device!" Gai exclaimed, clapping Ebisu on the shoulder.

Genma, loafing on the couch and looking over Iruka's shoulder as he finished setup for the jury-rigged home defense system they were installing after their baby-faced assassin stuck himself to Homeowner's ceiling last night, just laughed. "Jiraiya dug his own grave before you even got here, man, don't worry about it."

Ebisu started and turned around. "You mean Jiraiya-sama has already been here?"

Genma snorted. "Not here, but he stopped in at the brewpub and got escorted out for harassing the waitress, so he's doing a great job keeping a low profile."

Ebisu's look of dismay was priceless, but Genma was pretty sure he could make it better. "Guess who the waitress was."

Iruka, mostly ignoring them up to that point, snickered and closed his laptop. "Of course," he said.

Genma inclined his head lazily back so he could see Iruka's face better. "You're done?"

Iruka nodded, a vicious gleam in his dark eyes that drew an answering smile out of Genma on automatic. "Done," he confirmed. He glanced out to the kitchen, partly visible from where they sat on the couch, and added with a small, tight grin, "I almost hope someone tries us; it's been a while since I've gotten to rig up a civilian home instead of something designed to be a secure installation."

"And you were rigging it from the other side last time, I'll bet," Genma drawled, digging his elbow into Iruka's side.

Iruka dipped his head sideways, neither saying yes or no. "Well..." he hedged, but the shifty troublemaker's grin said it all for him.

Gai bellowed out a laugh as Ebisu looked primly disapproving. "I admire your youthful spirit of mischief, my friend! And you are now using your skills to defend the innocent! YOSHI!"

Genma rubbed the ear nearest Gai, wincing theatrically. "What he said," he said, gratified when Iruka's ears darkened slightly under his tan. He kinda wanted to nibble one to see what would happen- aside from Ebisu getting a gushing nosebleed, that was a given for anything spicier than white rice- but restrained himself.